The role of fathers in the raising of children has often tended to be minimized in the past generation. The gradual arrival of the divorce culture, in which divorce is considered to be the natural alternative to marital conflict, has resulted in 39% of all US children living apart from their fathers. The effect of this fact is that parents would rather think that fathers are not that important in child-rearing in order to justify their chosen lifestyle. Nothing could be further from the truth. Recent research shows that children with little or no contact with their fathers are more likely to drop out of school and become involved in drug and alcohol abuse. Girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens, and boys are more likely to become involved in crime and violence.
This research does not just apply to children whose fathers are no longer in the home. Fathers who are physically present but who choose not to take an active part in the parenting process, especially in spending time with the children and in disciplining them, have children with similar problems. My own experience as a clinician indicates that teenagers get extremely upset when their fathers are in the home but are only minimally involved as a parent. They tend to become more aggressive than most of their peers and push the family limits, often to the point of becoming out of control.
In order to develop emotionally healthy, confident children, fathers need to be closely involved in the raising of their children. If they are divorced or separated, they need to put aside their conflicts with the former spouse for the good of the kids. If they are still in the home, fathers need to take an active part in supporting and disciplining their children. If they do, their children will have a better chance to become confident and stable adults who, in turn, will someday raise their own confident and emotionally healthy children.
It seems that every year a new study emerges that shows that our children are getting heavier and heavier. The latest is from the American Academy of Pediatrics, who recommend that children have yearly body-mass index (BMI) checks done to identify and prevent obesity. The BMI is a height to weight ratio that appears to work better as a measure of obesity than standard height/weight tables. The data accumulated by this group indicate that about 15 percent of children (6 through 19) are obese, as opposed to just overweight. Other studies indicate that this rate may be as high as 24% in females and 26% in males. This rate has doubled in the last 20 years. These figures are apparently the result of a combination of relatively poor nutrition and the more sedentary lifestyles of today’s children. Here are some facts on the lifestyles of todays children:
- students watch an average of 26 hours of TV a week
- only 6% of children aged 10-19 are active on a regular basis
- on the average, children today are up to 40% less active than they were 30 years ago
Given these disturbing facts, what should parents be doing for their children. The American Academy of Pediatrics has several excellent suggestions. They include:
- encourage and model a lifestyle of fitness and limit TV and/or video viewing to no more than 2 hours daily (I think even this is too generous)
- promote healthy eating
- encourage breast feeding (this one is a bit of a surprise) since studies have shown that it may reduce children’s risk of becoming overweight
- actively promote anti-obesity programs in the communities, especially the schools. Encourage daily phys-ed programs that focus on personal fitness rather than team sports.
To these suggestions I would add:
- eat meals as a family so that the nutritional content can be monitored
- avoid eating out except as a very rare treat
- take the kids hiking, biking, swimming or cross country skiing as often as possible.
Parents must wake up to the fact that their children are not nearly as active as they should be and take steps to promote a healthy lifestyle. Otherwise the pediatricians are predicting a huge upswing in obesity related diseases, including diabetes and heart disease as these inactive kids become adults.