Now that the kids have been back at school for a full month, it is time for parents to assess how things are going for their children. If any problems are being experienced, now is the time to address them before it is too late to make changes.
The key factors to assess are the teachers that the child might have and the courses that are being taken. If there is already a serious personality clash with a teacher, then the parents should go in to the school immediately to look for a remedy. Kids are not able to make the adjustments that an adult might be able to make to a difficult boss. If they are uncomfortable with their teacher, then their learning could be affected. It might even be necessary to request a class change if the problem cannot quickly be resolved through a meeting with all involved. Parents should not let themselves be convinced by the school that changes cannot be made. They always can be with a little effort by the counselor and the principal. Naturally school authorities do not like to make changes once the classes are set, but these are certainly possible when necessary.
The same is true if the course the child is in is wrong for them. Generally these are the core courses, such as English or Mathematics, but occasionally even an option could prove to be difficult for some children. If the course is proving to be too hard (or even too easy) for the child, then once again a change should be requested. To let the situation progress any further than this month would make changes very difficult in a school and would then invite potential failure of the course.
If a change in teacher or course is necessary, then parents should be calm but firm in their approach to the school. Do not march into the school with guns a blazing. This will only invite defensiveness on the part of the school authorities and perhaps defeat your purpose. Principals work hard at balancing their classes and prefer not to change them when they are set. However, when a child’s potential academic success is on the line, parents must do their best to resolve the situation.
There is one important factor in resolving school problems that should also be mentioned. This is that in order to solve a problem, parents must know it exists. This requires that they keep in close communication with their children so that they know what is happening at school. This may seem to be just common sense, but it is amazing how many busy parents fail to pick up on their children’s’ clues about their unhappiness. If the child becomes unusually quiet or irritable, then there may be a problem. If the child continually complains about a certain subject or teacher, then parents should not trivialize these concerns. Delve into the situation to see if parental involvement is necessary. If it is then now is the time to effect any changes that need to be made. Waiting longer could be disastrous.
A recently released study by the National Center for Health Statistics in the U.S. indicates that major changes in the sexual practices of teens have been taking place in the past few years. This study found that more than half of American teenagers ages 15-19 have engaged in oral sex. While this fact should be startling to most parents, of even greater concern was the fact that both males and females reported similar levels of experience. When combined with another finding of this study that showed that slightly more girls than boys have intercourse before they are 20 years old, the indication is that girls are no longer the passive ones in sexual pursuits. Where once the boys chased and the girls fended them off, now the participation in sexual activities has become equal. This is a huge social change and it brings with it equally huge implications for parents.
One of the weakest areas of modern parenting has always been the inability or unwillingness of parents to talk to their children about sex. Many jokes have been made about the awkwardness of ‘the talk’ that parents either don’t give to their children about sex or give it so awkwardly that it only embarrasses both sides. Most parents tend to avoid the subject altogether, perhaps in the belief that if they don’t talk about it, sex will not happen. Obviously the studies show that not only is this not true, but there is far more sexual activity today than in previous recent generations. Of even more concern are the variety of sexual activities that are taking place and the active participation of females in these activities.
As a result it is more important than ever before that parents talk to their children about sex and actively advise them about their moral code and how to handle themselves in sexual encounters. This cannot be done in one talk. Instead parents must be able to talk to their kids about sex whenever an opportunity presents itself. These opportunities come from newspaper articles, television shows, movies and even from blogs like this one. All that is necessary is for a parent to say ‘I read an interesting article today. It said that blah, blah, blah – what do you think?’ This gets the teens involved in a non-threatening way by inviting an opinion and can then be followed by a question such as ‘Do you and your friends do that?’ Parents have to be able to be able to talk about sex with their children as easily as they talk about the weather. If they are at all awkward or avoid certain issues, the teens will pick this up and not want to talk about the subject either.
The key is for parents to keep informed about teenage trends and to actively discuss them with their kids. This way the teens will understand that their parents are available as a resource when a difficult situation arises and will be willing and able to help the teen with any problems that arise. Otherwise, with teen sexual activity as high as it is, the potential for serious problems to arise is dangerously high and parents will be faced with damage control when the problem could have been prevented by frank discussion.